My Eyes!
by Byakushi1
Summary: Sequel to Mission ItaSaku. Sasuke, you IDIOT! You just had to open your big mouth, didn't you? In which Sasuke and the others stowaway in Sakura's closet in order to spy on her and her boyfriend. Perverts, the whole lot of them. Non-massacre


**Title: **My Eyes!

**Author: **Byakushi1

**Pairings: **Uchiha Itachi/Haruno Sakura

**Genre: **Romance/Humor

**Disclaimer:** Naruto belongs only to Masashi Kishimoto

**Summary: **Sequel to Mission ItaSaku. Sasuke, you IDIOT! You just had to open your big mouth, didn't you? In which Sasuke and the others stowaway in Sakura's closet in order to spy on her and her boyfriend. Perverts, the whole lot of them. Non-massacre

* * *

The tall majestic trees cast dark shadows upon the village below. A soft breeze rustled through the branches, scattering golden brown leaves in its wake. Inside the gates, there were loud peals of laughter. Children ran down up and down the streets, playfully engaged in a rousing game of tag. Their parents watched them from the side, chatting with friends and trading pieces of gossip. Infatuated lovebirds walked together hand-in-hand, making ridiculous cow eyes at each other.

Nobody could be down when such joy was in the air, right?

Wrong.

Kino stalked down the streets of Konoha, still seething over the humiliation that Tsunade had so kindly bestowed upon her after she beat up Naruto. '_Screw what that old hag says about not hurting any more people!_ _If I see that yellow-haired monstrosity again, he will DIE!' _Dimly, she was aware of a distant shouting, but, too busy stewing in her dark vindictive thoughts, she failed to notice someone in front of her until it was too late.

"Kino!" Menchi gasped, running to her fallen friend, who had cracked her head quite hard against the sidewalk. "Are you okay? I tried warning you…" Kino pushed her hand aside and stood up, glowering at the person in front of her. She opened her mouth furiously, ready to give the offender the worst scolding of his life, when she noticed exactly _who_ was in front of her.

"Uchiha!" she exclaimed. "Aren't you supposed to be in Sound whoring out your body to that gay pedophile?" A confused look came into her eyes. "Wait… this is AU… never mind."

Menchi chuckled nervously. "Uh, hello, Sasuke-san. Forgive what my friend here just said, she's gone a bit nuts, ya know, hitting her head and all that," she babbled, while not-so-subtly edging away from the nonplussed Uchiha. "And, well, it's no big deal, this happens all the time, yeah, so, bye!" With that she scampers away, accidentally forgetting the slightly dazed Kino in her haste.

-

Sasuke was examined the girl curiously. She looked pretty young; around the same age he was when he became a gennin. As he watched, he noticed her twitching at his stare, looking uncomfortable. He decided to torment her even more, just to see what would happen.

_Stare._

_Twitch._

_Stare._

_Twitch._

"Stop staring at me!" she suddenly burst out angrily. "Damn you to hell, Uchiha! You killed 'Tachi-chan and… and…Gah, I can't take it anymore!"

Sasuke watched in bewilderment as the obviously crazy girl clutched her head and staggered toward the road. Growing more alarmed by the second, he stared, shocked, as she suddenly hurled herself in front of the mob of fangirls that had stalked him all around the village.

When the fangirls finally went away, finding no sign of the handsome Uchiha, he dropped the _henge_ and went to investigate what remained of the suicidal girl. Sasuke looked around for a stick, recalling one of the life lessons his mother had taught him. _Don't touch lying on the ground if you don't know where it's been!_

Finding a stick that's just the right size, Sasuke approached the shapeless blob and poked it. One poke, two pokes, _damn, she's still not moving! _He sat back and considered his options. He could bring her back to the Uchiha compound, or he could just leave her there to the rats. The Uchiha opted for the latter. After all, it wasn't any of his business anyways, right?

-

"Hey, bastard!" A familiar yell rang after him. "Wait up!"

Sasuke turned around, catching sight of the orange abomination chasing after him. "Dumbass," he greeted. Something caught his eye. "How did you get hurt so bad?"

"Meh, I kinda angered Kino-san, so she got really pissed off and decked me all the way across Konoha." Naruto laughed ruefully, adjusting his splint. "I swear she's an Uchiha! I mean, she had abnormal strength, even stronger than Sakura-chan, and her eyes turned red!"

"Kino?" Sasuke inquired. "I don't recall any ninja called that…" he trailed off as he flashed back to just a few minutes before, where that short black haired girl had called out to the other insane one. What did she call her? Ah, yes. It was Kino, if he remembered correctly.

"Oh, she's not a ninja!" Naruto grinned. "She's just a normal girl, but dude, she and Menchi-chan are masterminds! They're the ones that hooked up Sakura-chan and your brother! And Kino-san was the one who dressed up Itachi-bastard and everything! _He even let her_ _touch his hair!"_

Sasuke was impressed, even though he didn't show it. "The date was a success too! We were watching them from behind the bushes, but then," a revolted look flashed across his face, "they started kissing! With tongues and everything, and then the bastard started lifting up Sakura-chan's shirt, and I thought they were going to do it right there, but thankfully they went inside her apartment, then…"

Sasuke interrupted him, with a scandalized expression plastered onto his face. "Okay, I do not need to know the details of my brother's sex life, thank you very much." He stared incredulously at his best friend. "What are you, some kind of a stalker? On second thought," he added hastily, as Naruto started to answer. "I don't even want to know. Besides, I don't believe all that crap. There's no possible way that two non-ninjas can do anything like that."

"I'll take you to meet them, then," Naruto chirped brightly, ignoring his friend's skeptical expression. "You'll see how they're so epically awesome!"

-

"Kino-san! What in the name of the _Izanami no Mikoto*_ happened to you?!" shrieked a highly distressed Naruto.

"I got run over by a horde of rabid fangirls, stupid," Kino muttered sourly, clearly in a lot of pain, if the huge shiner and the blood pouring out of her nose were of any indication. "Where's Sakura-san? I need her to heal my broken nose." She peered at Sasuke, her faced schooled into her normal blank expression. "Sasuke-san, you're Sakura-san's teammate. Surely you know where she is?"

"Hn," he grunted, which was Uchiha-speak for _I couldn't care less._

"I'll take that as a no," Kino said dryly. When he didn't answer, she rolled her eyes minutely and turned toward Menchi. "Get ready. We're going to go find her."

"All right!" Menchi cheered, pumping her fist in the air. "Now you're talking!" Sasuke tried to make a break for it, but she lunged forward and gripped his arm with a strength a girl like her shouldn't possess. "Listen here," the normally sweet and mild Menchi hissed. "You are coming with us, whether you like it or not." Having made her point clear, she loosened her hold and grinned. "Besides, it'll be fun!"

_But little did they know they'll face a sight so terrible, so unspeakably horrifying, that one of the members of their little party would be psychologically scarred for life._

-

"Tell me again exactly _why _we're hiding in Sakura's closet?" Sasuke squirmed uncomfortably, mashed against Kino, Menchi, and Naruto in his pink haired teammate's tiny closet. He was suddenly struck with a case of claustrophobia.

"Why, Sasuke-_chan_," Kino drawled, shifting her arm so her elbow conveniently poked into his ribs. "It's really your fault we're stuck in this here. You said that the work Menchi and I did was a load of crap, didn't you? Well, we're here to prove that Itachi-san and Sakura-san really _are_ together, so you can just _shut the hell up and stop your fucking complaining, you little shithead." _

"Whoa, Kino-san," Naruto exclaimed, his eyes sparkling with admiration, "where did you learn all those cuss words?"

"Middle school."

"Aren't we supposed to be here for your nose?" Sasuke growled, his eyes bleeding red. He was shushed by Menchi, who had been peering out the little peephole in the door for the past few minutes.

"Everyone, be quiet! They're here!"

Sasuke heard the bedroom door slam shut and shoved his way in front of Menchi, ignoring smothered yelps of indignation. Squinting through the slit in the door, his eyes widened with surprise as he took in the sight of his brother and Sakura –_what were they doing?! _Petrified, he watched with horrified fascination as the kunoichi gently ran her hands up and down Itachi's face, checking for any injuries, before burying her hands in his hair and pulling him in for a long, smoldering kiss. Sasuke gaped at the sight before him, and then tried to turn around, or at least shut his eyes, but found that he couldn't. It was as if Kami wanted him to suffer for his sins by forcing him to watch his brother and teammate have a freakin' make-out session right in front of him.

_Karma was a bitch._

-

Sakura leaned up and brushed her lips by Itachi's ear, whispering, "There are a few people in hiding in the closet, Itachi."

His grip on her waist tightened momentarily, before relaxing slightly. "Aa, my foolish little brother, Naruto-kun, and those two girls are watching us."

"Well then," Sakura purred playfully, "let's give them a show. Wouldn't want to disappoint our audience now, would we?" She sighed and melted into his embrace as he brushed her lips lightly, one hand ghosting up her spine. Then his fingers thread into her hair, before tilting her head back, effectively deepening the kiss. He pushed her back against the wall, and her legs hooked around his to keep steady. Her arms instinctively came up and wrapped around his neck, gently running her hand through his long raven locks, earning a growl of approval. Somewhere deep in the recesses of her mind, the part that wasn't passion-hazed, she recognized a few sharp gasps and a muffled shout. She was quickly drawn back to reality as Itachi lightly nips her earlobe, before he trailed his lips lightly down her neck, suckling on her pulse. She mewled in disappointment as Itachi drew back, his charcoal gray eyes darkened to obsidian black.

"You can come out now," he called out severely. There was a pause, then the closet door banged open and out tumbled Sasuke, Naruto, and Menchi, all three of which are sporting nosebleeds. Kino calmly walked out from behind them, making sure to step and wipe her feet thoroughly on each of their backs.

Sakura watched in amusement, her head buried in her lover's neck, as her normally stoic teammate curled up into a tight ball, whimpering, "_Stop, no more! Please!" _while trying unsuccessfully to staunch the blood. Naruto and Menchi were in similar positions, only grinning goofily with identical perverted expressions on the faces.

Kino watched them in disgust. "You three are disgraceful. I don't see how any of you are better than that old lecher, Jiraiya-san." Right after she finished all three of them passed out, due to blood loss. Kino sighed wearily and rubbed her temples; she could feel a migraine coming on. She walked toward Sakura, extending her hand. Itachi drew the pink haired medic back, a distrustful gleam in his eyes. Kino snorted and crossed her arms, distaste marring her features. "Relax; I'm not going to steal her away. Besides, I've already got a girlfriend."

Upon hearing this, Itachi recoiled instantly and Sakura turned bright red. Kino studied their faces for a moment, and then started giggling. "Oh, your faces are priceless!" She paused, "Wait, you really fell for it?" she sneered. "I don't swing that way, stupid fools. I just need Sakura-san to heal my nose."

After her nose was repaired, Kino headed for the door. "Wait!" Sakura called after her. "What should we do with them?" She nudged the unconscious bodies with her toe.

Kino waved back dismissively. "Do what you want. Burn them, drown them, or keep them alive. It doesn't really matter to me."

Sakura and Itachi watched her walk out. Then Kino's head suddenly reappeared in the doorway, holding up a camera. "Ne, 'Tachi-chan, by the way, if you or Sakura, tell _anyone _of my being involved in this incident, these pictures of you with your hair all messed up right before that big date you had with Sakura, courtesy of _moi_, will _accidentally_ find its ways into the hands of Ino. Ta-ta." She popped back out, smirking at the horror-stricken expression on Itachi's face.

As she walked, Kino chuckled evilly to herself. So what if she couldn't get her hands on Kakshi's summoning scroll? She had something much, _much, _better. Blackmail on Uchiha Itachi.

* * *

_the end_

_

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_

*_Izanami no Mikoto_: the Grand Deity of Yomi (underworld)

-

Kino, and Menchi were all a figment of my imagination, so there's no need go and search the _very_ long and confusing list of Naruto characters. Except the girls' names, which I got from _Kino no Tabi _and_ Excel Saga._

-

And yes, only one person wrote this series, trilogy, whatever you call it. So, yeah.

-Authoress #1

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_Well, if you like the story, it would please us greatly if you would leave a comment. We hope everyone enjoyed it!_


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